Arousing Past Read online

  “Hi, Jim, are we busy tonight?”

  “Quite busy, the threat of rain has kept everybody indoors. Lucky for us.” He smiled dutifully. “If you’ll follow me, I’ll show you to your table.”

  Joe turned to her, placing his hand on the small of her back. “Shall we go in?”

  The warmth of his hand and the intensity of his gaze sent her pulse racing. “Yes,” she managed to say, in an even tone.

  They sat down and the maître d’ summoned the waiter. “Rick will be your waiter tonight. He’s been briefed on the new menu by Chef Donatello, and the wines have been set aside for you by Ron Howard, our F and B manager.”

  “All right, let’s go ahead then. Do you still prefer white to red?” he asked Mel casually.

  He still remembers… Just a lucky guess. Most women prefer white to red. Just a lucky guess. “Yes, I do.”

  “Good. Let’s see what else I can still remember…” he said when both the maître d’ and the waiter had left.

  “Stop!” she spat. “This is not a walk down memory lane, all right? I’m here tonight because my boss wanted my help sampling menus. That is all. Let’s keep it that way.”

  “Might as well get used to me, Mel,” he told her, his tone stern. “We’ve been thrown together and we’ll have to mix in.”

  She shot him a sceptical look. Thrown together indeed! She was beginning to think his presence in Boston had nothing to do with fate. She was almost certain he’d orchestrated his move to get back into her life. Well, he was in for a surprise if he thought he could just waltz back in.

  “Only as co-workers,” she said emphatically.

  “Hmm. Rick would like you to sample the white wine,” he said, nodding in Rick’s direction as he patiently waited for them to finish their altercation.

  “Oh, sorry.” She watched him pour it into her glass, then took a sip. “Mm, it’s good,” she said distractedly.

  I must get my act together. Imagine the gossip tomorrow when they hear of the new boss and the rooms’ manager arguing in the restaurant… Damn!

  Holding his glass to the light, Joe swirled the wine a couple of times before taking a swallow. As she watched his Adam’s apple shift, another image invaded her thoughts. Summertime, hot day, Joe’s stunning chest, broad shoulders, his tanned neck exposed as he drank a cold Budweiser. She shivered with the familiar excitement the sight of his body had on her. Her cheeks suddenly flamed up as she glanced at his puckered lips while he gave his full appreciation to the wine. The thought of nuzzling her face into the hollow of his neck, revelling in the smooth texture of his skin and the fragrance he wore, had heat curling through her, arousing her need and desire.

  Oh shit!

  This wouldn’t do.

  The waiter left and Joe faced her with an engaging smile. “Do you entertain much?”

  “Now and then.”

  “People from work?” he asked matter-of-factly, sliding a long finger up and down the stem of his glass.

  He had large, beautiful hands.

  Hands made to caress a woman’s body.

  Whoa, where had that thought come from?

  My repressed sexual urges and one track mind!

  Damn it! He was plainly ignoring her wishes to keep the conversation on a professional level, but to spend the night reminding him he was intruding was the last thing she wanted to do.

  “What do you want from me, Joe?” she asked, a little more forcefully than she’d intended.

  He looked at her for a long time saying nothing and Mel wondered if he still remembered, or even cared, that she hadn’t shown up for his farewell party. That she hadn’t even said goodbye to him. It had most probably been a relief not having her there, spoiling his celebration.

  And now here they were, eight years later, together again. Old lovers, new…what were they now? They were no longer lovers, but she wouldn’t consider him a friend. They’d been, she sadly realised, reduced to the state of co-workers.

  “Why haven’t you married?” Joe asked.

  Because you spoilt me for any other man.

  She blushed, sure everybody in the room could hear her heart knocking against her chest. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I almost did. Once.” She was stretching the truth a little, but he didn’t have to know she’d refused Paul’s proposal, and he’d died in a scuba diving accident a couple of years after they’d broken up.

  “What happened?”

  “He died.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “Thank you.”

  “When did he die?”

  Why couldn’t he just drop the subject? “Two years ago.”

  “And since?”

  Oh, for God sake! “None of your business.”

  “Why can’t it be my business?”

  Her mouth opened and closed but no sound came out.

  “I’d like it to be my business again, Mel. Very much.”

  He leant slightly forward and she forgot they weren’t alone in the room—all she saw was his face.

  “We were good together once, Mel,” he said. “And I believe we can be that way again. I’m still very attracted to you, as I hope you are to me…we can recapture the romance, I’m sure of it.”

  It was an absurd plan, and she had to be mad to even consider picking up where they’d left off. She blinked. Her instincts had been right. He had come to Boston on a mission. He wanted her back in his life…in his bed, more likely. It was Joe Bradley’s show all over again.

  Stupid, stupid, Melissa!

  Why was she letting Joe Bradley affect her? He was still the insensitive, deceitful guy who had told her he needed to take the job, spread his wings and see how high he could fly. Well, he’d got his wish. And even knowing she’d had the power to make him stay, she had let him go. Because if she had stopped him she’d have tampered with his brilliant future, and there was no way she would come between him and greatness.

  He didn’t exactly say that.

  Well, no. But the way he’d said it, if she’d tried to stop him she would have sounded like a clingy, needy wimp who would have ruined his future forever.

  So he left me. He went after what he wanted then. What do I care what he wants now? Why am I here tonight then?

  She hung her head.

  When she looked up again she had regained part of the self-control she was known for. “Joe, a great deal of women would be flattered with the prospect of dating a man like you. I’m not one of them.” Liar. “I hope you’ll accept there will never be anything else between us but a work relationship.”

  “I’m sorry but I can’t accept that,” he said, clearly determined. “We are both still single and the chemistry between us is still strong. I can feel the attraction, and if you’re honest with yourself, you’d admit it’s true.” His face softened a little. “Many successful couples have started with much less and succeeded, why shouldn’t we?”

  He wants a relationship. Because we’re single and there’s chemistry between us he thinks nothing else matters. What a joke! If he only knew how much history works against him! He has no clue of the real reason of my resentment… I should tell him. No. Past is past. She’d chosen to let him go without telling him, and that had sealed their future apart. She’d made her choice then and there was no going back. Oh, but it hurt. It still hurt so badly.

  “If the chemistry was so strong then why did you leave?” she asked with a lump in her throat.

  “Why didn’t you go to my farewell party?”

  Oh, God, oh, God, I can’t do this. Not here, not ever.

  A violent swirl of emotion jolted her out of her seat. “Excuse me,” she muttered, rushing away before he even had a chance to stand.

  She barely made it to her room before the flood of tears started. The vivid memory of a pain long repressed was so fierce she was back being twenty, pregnant and broken hearted again. She didn’t know how long she stayed in such a state before her tears subsided and she became aware of a knocking on the do
or. A glance at the mirror confirmed her fears. She looked a wreck. She felt like one.

  “Who is it?”

  “Mel, it’s me, open up.”

  No! “Joe, go away…please.”

  “I will not go until I see you,” he said in a commanding voice. Then in a softer tone he added, “Mel, open the door. Please?”

  I ought to let him in. Tell him what I’ve concealed from him since that night and maybe I’ll finally have the closure I’ve been seeking all these years.

  Seconds stretched into minutes and the door remained shut. When she finally unlocked it, Joe pushed it wide and stepped into the room. Standing behind her, he placed his hand on her shoulder to turn her around, and stared in total bewilderment at her tear-stricken face. Without a moment’s hesitation he pulled her into his arms, into the cocoon of his body, against his thumping heart.

  Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks.

  “Hush, Mel, it’s all right,” he rasped, trying to sooth her.

  His calming words had the opposite effect—violent sobs rocked her body as she clung to him. All the sorrow, heartache and lost dreams tore at her with such a powerful force she thought she was once more reliving that moment. The pain was so great, so real, she couldn’t stop crying. She couldn’t stop hurting all over again for the loss of her baby, of her lover, of her innocence.

  Joe held her tight in his arms, his lips on her hair, on her eyes, on her face. He wanted to take away the hurt he’d so obviously caused, to make it all better for her. Her hands were fisted on his shirt front, her wet face pressed against his neck. Her heartbreaking sobs tore at his heart. He lowered his head and covered her mouth with his. At first the kiss was innocent, soothing—a hush-now-baby kiss. But when Melissa opened her mouth and pushed harder into him, everything changed. He found himself desperate to love her again. To find the fulfilment that had eluded him for years. He groaned and ground his mouth onto hers, tasting her more deeply and intimately. His hunger for her gripped him like a fist, and he kissed her with all the pent-up emotion he’d felt from the moment when he saw her again. Her response was less fierce but just as passionate. He reached for the zipper at her back and pulled it down, slipping the dress off her shoulders, and gently pushed her into the bed.

  She was so responsive, so hot, he had a job controlling the urge to thrust inside her and let their needs take over. Instead, he hung back, kissing and licking every mound and valley of her body, removing every bit of clothing along the way. He took his time caressing, kneading, stroking her fabulous breasts, her round bottom, her shapely legs. She began whimpering and thrusting her pelvis. He evaded her arms and soothed her burning desire by gliding down and positioning himself between her thighs. At the first touch of his tongue on her clit, she lifted her body clear of the mattress and let out a wail—he was sure she was coming right then and there. But she held fast and long. She too seemed to want the pleasure to last forever. And he obliged. With his hands on her breasts, his mouth on her clit, he took her to a whole new level of rapture.

  Her smell drove him wild, and so did the sound of her voice as she babbled demands and muttered words he could only guess the meaning of. And still he continued to lick her, sliding his fingers in and out of her hot channel as strong muscles squeezed them tight. He smiled tenderly when she climaxed beneath his touch, crying her delight, rolling her head back and forth as she called his name.

  “Tell me you want me, Mel. Tell me how you want me to love you,” he demanded, his gaze fastened on her dreamy, hazy eyes. His voice was so deep, a rumble, but Melissa understood—she whispered the words he wanted to hear.

  He quickly undressed and slipped inside her, filling her, and she moaned as she grasped his back and held him deep within her. She tightened and became rigid with her climax, her pulsations beckoning his own release. He raised himself up, grasping her bottom in his hands, lifting her, thrusting into her with shorter, quicker strokes before he let out a low growl and began shuddering, then finally collapsed on her.

  Several minutes passed before Joe raised himself up on his elbow to check on her. She was so beautiful with her flushed skin and dazed, big blue eyes. He leaned in and brushed his lips over hers gently, so gently she shuddered with a fresh wave of emotion and melted against him. Still deep inside her, he rolled on his back, taking her with him. He kept her in a close embrace until her even breath told him she had fallen asleep.

  He remained wide awake. He was fascinated by her response to him, by how perfectly they’d moved together, by the rapture they’d once shared and found again. His mind was a swirl of thoughts and feelings he had no control over. He was certain that the connection with the woman in his arms went beyond physical. The emotional connection was like nothing he’d experienced in the past eight years. The desire she stirred in him rose strong and fast. A slow smile tugged at his lips as he stroked her silky skin.

  Chapter Four

  Melissa thought she was dreaming. Wrapped in his strong arms and nestled against his broad chest, she didn’t want to wake from this languorous, delicious dream. When he rolled her on her back she embraced him tightly, caressing his skin as she breathed his fragrance. She recognised the touch, the familiar emotion, the growing desire. She remembered their joining from before, so like last night’s—so wonderful and passion-filled. She held on to him, need coursing through her like a raging river, and kissed his neck with exhilarating fervour. At last, at long last she no longer had to recall his touch. He was here, now. He was real. His words of endearment, his caresses, his erection pushing on her pelvis were also real, and there was nothing in the world more right than loving Joe.

  “Joe,” she murmured, pulling herself from her dream and sinking deeper into his embrace. “Don’t leave me.” She heard her voice, deep and throaty with desire and hardly recognisable as the cool and controlled woman she’d become.

  For years she’d wanted him this way, dreaming about this moment, waking in a sweat, hollow at her centre. Now he was here, truly here, and she was in his arms and he was making love to her. Again! Her eyes widened in shock. What was she thinking, giving in so easily to him? How could she ever look at him again across the boardroom table and not remember him as he was now? How could she have forgotten his past behaviour and welcomed him back into her arms so readily?

  I’m an idiot!

  She went rigid. She dropped her arms from his back and she curled her lips inwards as her angry stare bored into his. Joe went still. Then he pulled out of her and sat leaning against the headboard. Melissa followed Joe’s hand with her gaze as it combed through his short, brown hair, skimmed the back of his neck, then rubbed across his chest before resting on his raised knee. When he turned his head towards her, she lifted her eyes to his face, and they watched each other in silence. After a moment, Joe got out of bed and headed for the bathroom.

  Melissa hadn’t moved by the time he came back wearing a hotel terrycloth robe. He handed her the spare, which she took and promptly slipped on. Joe sat by her hip at a slight angle, his face grave, his gaze fastened on her face.

  “Why don’t you want to love me, Mel?” he asked quietly.

  I do…I never stopped loving you!

  The realisation she was still in love with him after all these years stunned her into further silence. How was it possible? She’d been so sure she was over him. She had to be confusing lust with love—not surprising after what had passed between them. Their lovemaking had been fantastic. Wonderful! Their bodies’ instant recognition of each other after all these years apart had been uncanny. But that meant absolutely nothing—she had been weakened by her memories, driven by her lust. She hadn’t been herself whilst all tangled up in the past. But she was no longer the passionate, lovesick girl on the edge of womanhood, who had sworn eternal love to him. She was all grown up now. She was a woman, a woman known for her cool demeanour and good command of her mind. What had happened tonight was only a minor glitch in her carefully constructed image. This incident would rapidly and
easily be forgotten because she was not in love with Joe Bradley.

  She lifted her chin and faced him with the same determination that had seen her through the toughest moments in her life.

  “Because I don’t like you, Joe.”

  Except for the tightening of his jaw muscle and the slight narrowing of his eyes, nothing in his expression changed. “Why?”

  “Why?” she repeated, taken aback by the question.

  “Yes, why don’t you like me, Melissa? You used to. Hell, you just acted like you do,” he said, sarcasm lacing his words. She didn’t answer, instead turned her face away. Joe lashed out. “People break up all the time, Mel, but few hold grudges for as long as you have! Why, Mel?”

  I should tell him why. Is there any point? It’s surely too late?

  She could sense Joe’s frustration, and when he jumped to his feet, she thought for sure he was going to storm out of the room and leave her on her own. But instead, he pushed his hands deep into the robe’s pockets and paced the floor. After a few minutes, apparently composed from his previous outburst, Joe came back and sat next to her.

  “It would never have worked between us then, Mel, believe me,” he said, his voice calmer. “We—I needed to experience real life—grow up, meet other people. And so did you. Look how you bounced back. You even met someone you liked well enough to consider marriage,” he reasoned. “Are you really going to talk yourself out of finding happiness again? Or just not with me?” he asked, his voice clipped.

  I should tell him. No, I will not!

  Silence stretched out before Joe spoke again. “If your fiancé hadn’t died you’d probably be the devoted wife and the proud mother of a couple of kids by now.” A wan smile curled his lips. “You always loved children, Mel. We’ll make some together, wouldn’t you like—”

  No, no, no! Please don’t go there. She wanted him to stop. She wanted him to stop talking of making babies when he didn’t even know they had once made one together. She felt so sad. This whole affair was so sad, because he was eight years too late.